THE SQUEAM
By Chris Denton
PAGE ONE
1) We open with a medium shot showing the upper part of a large marble statue depicting TUDOR J GATES, quite a short and thin looking man, somewhere in his mid to late twenties. He is wearing a full military dress uniform (think Prince Charles on Remembrance Day) and saluting, his chest puffed out, covered in medals. The expression on the statue’s face is one of pride mixed with confidence.
Behind the statue is the night sky, full of stars and perhaps even a comet or two.
CAPTION: LEAGUE OF PLANETS HQ.
CAPTION: WE CANNOT IMAGINE IT NOW, BUT THERE WAS A TIME BEFORE OUR OWN GREAT GALACTIC CALM.
2) Close on the face of the statue, exactly as proud and confident as before, as you would expect.
CAPTION: THE LEAGUE’S PEACEKEEPERS BROUGHT ABOUT THIS WONDROUS CONTENTMENT, AND THE GREATEST PEACEKEEPER OF ALL WAS TUDOR J GATES.
CAPTION: THIS IS HIS STORY.
3) This is a very, very wide shot. In fact, it depicts about half of a planet.
We can see the surface of Karnsmite, from space so it is curved. The planet is primarily an unhealthy grey, with many patches of poisonous smog and two or three mushroom clouds poking through.
CAPTION: INITIALLY POSTED TO THE HELLWORLD OF KARNSMITE, THE ABILITIES OF UNWILLING CONSCRIPT P.C.S.O. GATES WERE FAR FROM APPARENT.
4) Now we’re in a petrified forest. The actual flesh and blood Tudor is advancing stealthily in the company of another peacekeeper, CORPORAL ELDER. They are both wearing conventional day-to-day military uniforms and holding vaguely futuristic laser-blasters. Their heads are protected by bright-blue helmets, as is usually the case with peacekeepers. Each man has his surname displayed on his chest.
Elder is a much bigger and broader man than Gates, and older too. He’s clearly a grizzled and experienced campaigner.
The densely-packed forest itself is lifeless and threatening. There are no leaves on the trees, just bare branches and long, sharp thorns.
CAPTION: THIS WAS BECAUSE IN A TIME WHEN HEALTH AND SAFETY PERFECTION HAD BEEN ACHIEVED, THE SIGHT OF BLOOD OR GORE WAS RARE INDEED.
ELDER: TRY NOT TO GET IN THE WAY, GATES!
5) Medium shot of Elder, determinedly pushing through some thorny branches. His left hand is cut open by a particularly nasty looking thorn. Tudor is just behind him, completely pale, looking appalled.
CAPTION: CONSCRIPTS LIKE TUDOR WERE UNABLE TO COPE WITH EVEN A HINT OF BODILY LIFE-FLUID. THERE WERE STRICT RULES ENSURING THAT NO PLATOON HAD MORE THAN ONE SUCH SOLDIER
GATES: ELDER, YOUR HAND!!
6) Close on Tudor, kneeling on the ground, throwing up into his helmet.
CAPTION: THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KNOWN AS THE PEACEKEEPING COMMUNITY SUPPORT OPERATIVE (PCSO) BUT WERE MOST USUALLY CALLED
CAPTION: THE SQUEAM
FX: BLEURRRGH!!
PAGE TWO
1) This panel depicts a large vidcall screen displaying the upper body of the EMPEROR OF THE PYROTINES. Pyrotines are a vaguely humanoid race, but with a broader frame, bigger eyes and no apparent noses. They are also purplish in their complexion. The Emperor himself looks very angry and aggressive. I suspect a clenched fist is being waved. He is wearing a very impressive Imperial costume, with lots of gold chains, a crown and a flowing cape.
CAPTION: AN UNPROMISING START, CERTAINLY, BUT EVENTS WERE ABOUT TO THRUST GREATNESS UPON TUDOR…
EMPEROR: THIS INVASION BY THE LEAGUE OF PLANETS IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE. YOU MUST LEAVE OR DIE.
2) This is a wider shot revealing that the Emperor is talking to MAJOR FINE-STYLE, the leader of the Peacekeeepers. Fine-Style sits in front of the vid-screen, wearing the officers’ version of the uniform (eg a blue peaked cap in place of the helmet) and trying to look placatory.
This is a small vid-conferencing room, part of the Peacekeepers base on Karnsmite.
FINE-STYLE: WE ARE ONLY HERE TO POLICE THE CEASEFIRE, AS YOUR WORSHIP KNOWS. SURELY WE CAN NEGOTIATE TERMS?
EMPEROR: PYROTINES DO NOT NEGOTIATE. PREPARE TO BE SLAUGHTERED!!
3) Outside the base, Major Fine Style stands in front of Corporal Elder, surveying the defences with a critical eye. Behind them are a row of large spikes and part of a tall metal building beyond.
CAPTION: WITH WAR DECLARED, EVERYONE READIED THEMSELVES FOR BATTLE.
FINE-STYLE: THEY HAVE GENE-GIANTS, ELDER. TWELVE FEET TALL WITH HIDES LIKE TARMAC.
ELDER: WE’LL SHARPEN THE SPIKES, SIR!
4) The same location, a little later. Tudor is carrying a large, round a large tray, upon which there are many mugs of tea. He is offering the tray to Elder.
CAPTION: WELL, NEARLY EVERYONE.
TUDOR: TEA, ELDER?
ELDER: THANKS, SQUEAM.
Sunday, 1 August 2010
Monday, 31 May 2010
The Second Crusade
With the convention season over for the moment, it's time to get our heads down and work on the next comic. In our case this will be Massacre For Boys: Back In Action.
In fact we're already at quite an advanced stage. Here's the pencilled, inked and lettered first page of the new Crusader story that will appear in BIA, all three tasks performed with admirable skill by the multi-talented Indy-press Overlord, Bolt-01:
Steve's just polished off a Badland Rules sequel script which has gone to a brand new artist. More details on this one to follow.
My other contributions to the issue are already written (principally new Walking Wounded and Bosher strips) so I am currently working on something else before I switch back to the Massacre universe and Walking Wounded: Reach For The Sky.
In fact we're already at quite an advanced stage. Here's the pencilled, inked and lettered first page of the new Crusader story that will appear in BIA, all three tasks performed with admirable skill by the multi-talented Indy-press Overlord, Bolt-01:
Steve's just polished off a Badland Rules sequel script which has gone to a brand new artist. More details on this one to follow.
My other contributions to the issue are already written (principally new Walking Wounded and Bosher strips) so I am currently working on something else before I switch back to the Massacre universe and Walking Wounded: Reach For The Sky.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Bristol 2010 Uncovered
Yesterday morning I embarked on a pleasant rail journey from Redhill to Bristol Temple Meads in order to attend the Comic Expo. I decided to go to this one as a punter rather than a puntee. Steve and his girlfriend Nikki met me there and together we three tackled the delights on offer across the two convention sites.
The Small Press part of the show was, as last year, hosted at the Mercure. I was pleased to see the visitor count seemed well up on last year. We made a beeline for the Futurequake & Zarjaz! stall where Steve was delighted to see lots of his work on display, including this by now pretty famous Rogue Trooper pinup:
Bolt-01 had brought along the inked version of his second Crusader story which Steve and I were extremely pleased with. The strip will be out next year in Massacre For Boys: Back In Action and promises to be something special. We also chatted with Richmond Clements about his upcoming work and also regarding the possibility of MFB making a debut at next year's Hi-Ex.
There was also time to swing by the Bearded Skull stand to see how our old table neighbours from last year have been getting on. Pretty well it seems judging by the two new issues of Dexter's Half Dozen, one of which I picked up to enjoy later.
Back at the Ramada for the mainstream stuff, my personal highlight was the Pat Mills panel session on Requiem: Vampire Knight:
Pat is a great speaker and I found his passionate enthusiasm for British comics in the European tradition to be highly persuasive. My own interest in working for Marvel or DC is zero, so I am totally on board for steering clear of the American market. It was especially great to see him as I'd missed his Unicon appearances, much to my own disappointment. I didn't know very much about Requiem before this event but I was sufficiently intrigued to buy the first two Panini volumes immediately afterwards, which Pat was kind enough to sign.
Curiously, despite all the SFX / Comic Heroes posters everywhere we didn't see hide nor hair of the magazines themselves... very odd and a shame as I am quite interested in the Alan Moore interview the are trailing for the new Comic Heroes. The poster for issue one did contain a thumbnail of the infamous Fridge Magnets, ensuring Steve was represented in both hotels:
Even more curiously, indy-kids Markosia proudly proclaimed themselves as "Britain's leading graphic novel publishers" which may have come as a surprise to Rebellion, three tables down.
On that bombshell it was time to give up and go home. Tremendous fun, will definitely be back next year, although as a punter or puntee I am not yet sure.
The Small Press part of the show was, as last year, hosted at the Mercure. I was pleased to see the visitor count seemed well up on last year. We made a beeline for the Futurequake & Zarjaz! stall where Steve was delighted to see lots of his work on display, including this by now pretty famous Rogue Trooper pinup:
Bolt-01 had brought along the inked version of his second Crusader story which Steve and I were extremely pleased with. The strip will be out next year in Massacre For Boys: Back In Action and promises to be something special. We also chatted with Richmond Clements about his upcoming work and also regarding the possibility of MFB making a debut at next year's Hi-Ex.
There was also time to swing by the Bearded Skull stand to see how our old table neighbours from last year have been getting on. Pretty well it seems judging by the two new issues of Dexter's Half Dozen, one of which I picked up to enjoy later.
Back at the Ramada for the mainstream stuff, my personal highlight was the Pat Mills panel session on Requiem: Vampire Knight:
Pat is a great speaker and I found his passionate enthusiasm for British comics in the European tradition to be highly persuasive. My own interest in working for Marvel or DC is zero, so I am totally on board for steering clear of the American market. It was especially great to see him as I'd missed his Unicon appearances, much to my own disappointment. I didn't know very much about Requiem before this event but I was sufficiently intrigued to buy the first two Panini volumes immediately afterwards, which Pat was kind enough to sign.
Curiously, despite all the SFX / Comic Heroes posters everywhere we didn't see hide nor hair of the magazines themselves... very odd and a shame as I am quite interested in the Alan Moore interview the are trailing for the new Comic Heroes. The poster for issue one did contain a thumbnail of the infamous Fridge Magnets, ensuring Steve was represented in both hotels:
Even more curiously, indy-kids Markosia proudly proclaimed themselves as "Britain's leading graphic novel publishers" which may have come as a surprise to Rebellion, three tables down.
On that bombshell it was time to give up and go home. Tremendous fun, will definitely be back next year, although as a punter or puntee I am not yet sure.
Saturday, 8 May 2010
NoThing is Forever
Sad news has just appeared on the UK Web & Mini Comix Thing homepage:
We've attended four and they've always been good to us. If the situation does change we'll almost certainly be there again next year, otherwise at least we'll still have our memories, such as this one - Steve at our very first show appearance, Thing 2007:
Actually, I don't really remember that.
There will be no more Things as the hall is no longer available for hire and my brain is fried. There are some options for using other venues but I think its probably best to call it a day. If I change my mind i'll let you know.
We've attended four and they've always been good to us. If the situation does change we'll almost certainly be there again next year, otherwise at least we'll still have our memories, such as this one - Steve at our very first show appearance, Thing 2007:
Actually, I don't really remember that.
Sunday, 2 May 2010
Monday, 26 April 2010
Unicon 2010 Uncovered
Saturday 24th April saw the Massacre bandwagon roll into Hatfield for Unicon:
The venue was, as you can see, pretty amazing. Not actually Nuremberg circa 1934 but in fact the de Havilland campus of the University of Hertfordshire.
Steve and I set our alarms for stupid o'clock, travelled by train then taxi and were all setup by the start of play at 10am:
We weren't based in the Atrium itself, but in a huge foyer next door. Still we were two tables up from Gary Erskine so in good company.
Excellent company, in fact. To our right there was Derek, owner of St Alban's comic shop Chaos City Comics and to our left we had George of Jambo fame. Derek stocked an array of marvellous graphic novels, and we were grateful he purchased Walking Wounded and then read it straight away:
He seemed to like it and that was the main thing! In fact, fingers crossed that Walking Wounded issues may be on the shelves at Chaos City soon...
My old university housemate Danny Graydon was one of the show organisers and it was great to see him there:
I was gutted to miss Danny's evening interview with Dave Gibbons, Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neil but transport timing basically made it impossible to attend :(
Along with the Massacre For Boys publications we usually hawk, Steve and I were also offering Futurequake, Zarjaz! and Dogbreath from our stall. This was no trouble at all as as the FQP team have been great to us and it was nice to be able to do something in return. Also, it gave our table an extra hook, causing visitors to pause a bit longer than maybe they usually would. Indeed, Zarjaz! in particular attracted the attention of one distinguished attendee:
So, in conclusion, it was a great show and I am very much hoping it does become an annual event and that we stay very much part of it!
The venue was, as you can see, pretty amazing. Not actually Nuremberg circa 1934 but in fact the de Havilland campus of the University of Hertfordshire.
Steve and I set our alarms for stupid o'clock, travelled by train then taxi and were all setup by the start of play at 10am:
We weren't based in the Atrium itself, but in a huge foyer next door. Still we were two tables up from Gary Erskine so in good company.
Excellent company, in fact. To our right there was Derek, owner of St Alban's comic shop Chaos City Comics and to our left we had George of Jambo fame. Derek stocked an array of marvellous graphic novels, and we were grateful he purchased Walking Wounded and then read it straight away:
He seemed to like it and that was the main thing! In fact, fingers crossed that Walking Wounded issues may be on the shelves at Chaos City soon...
My old university housemate Danny Graydon was one of the show organisers and it was great to see him there:
I was gutted to miss Danny's evening interview with Dave Gibbons, Pat Mills and Kevin O'Neil but transport timing basically made it impossible to attend :(
Along with the Massacre For Boys publications we usually hawk, Steve and I were also offering Futurequake, Zarjaz! and Dogbreath from our stall. This was no trouble at all as as the FQP team have been great to us and it was nice to be able to do something in return. Also, it gave our table an extra hook, causing visitors to pause a bit longer than maybe they usually would. Indeed, Zarjaz! in particular attracted the attention of one distinguished attendee:
So, in conclusion, it was a great show and I am very much hoping it does become an annual event and that we stay very much part of it!
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Election 2010
The Eagle Awards seem to be back.
Nominations are now being sought, but as this only covers comics published in 2009 we are a bit screwed. Our 2009 publication was Massacre For Boys In Colour, and the "In Colour" suffix puts us up against the big British boys, such as 2000AD.
In my wildest dreams I don't anticipate us beating 2000AD.
Therefore this year I am not actively seeking nominations for Massacre For Boys, but instead backing Futurequake. It really is high time Futurequake won the British black and white category so please make full use of your democratic rights and Vote Futurequake.
Meanwhile, Unicon is just 6 days away.
On the Massacre table, as well as Eagle award nominated Walking Wounded and not Eagle award nominated Massacre For Boys in Colour we'll be carrying Zarjaz! and Dogbreath too. There's a pretty good case for Eagle awarding nominating these two as well, think of them as the Lib Dems of British black & white comics.
Nominations are now being sought, but as this only covers comics published in 2009 we are a bit screwed. Our 2009 publication was Massacre For Boys In Colour, and the "In Colour" suffix puts us up against the big British boys, such as 2000AD.
In my wildest dreams I don't anticipate us beating 2000AD.
Therefore this year I am not actively seeking nominations for Massacre For Boys, but instead backing Futurequake. It really is high time Futurequake won the British black and white category so please make full use of your democratic rights and Vote Futurequake.
Meanwhile, Unicon is just 6 days away.
On the Massacre table, as well as Eagle award nominated Walking Wounded and not Eagle award nominated Massacre For Boys in Colour we'll be carrying Zarjaz! and Dogbreath too. There's a pretty good case for Eagle awarding nominating these two as well, think of them as the Lib Dems of British black & white comics.
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