Incensed by Before Watchmen, I considered penning a parody featuring Alan Moore's 2000AD creation, Skizz. I had two serious goes at writing this, the first an out-and-out comedy, followed by a second version, much more akin to a pastiche, after I started to get interested in what a Skizz prequel might really be like. In the end I set aside the idea, and now it's so profoundly untopical as to be unlikely ever to see the light of day.
However, I don't think I have blogged one of my page breakdowns for a while, so here for your amusement is a panel by panel plan of the earlier, "funnier" Before Skizz...
Page 1
1)
Caption: Skizz was co-created by Alan Moore of Watchmen fame! Yes! So you are actually reading a brand new, Moore-quality comic right now!*
Caption: *Legal note: Alan Moore does not endorse this statement.
Skizz's spaceship approaches a small planet.
2)
Skizz in his cockpit.
Skizz: That planet looks interesting, computer.
Computer: Unfortunately, if we stop here you will be late for the Formalhaut Ore Discussions.
3)
Skizz: Ten clicks won't make any difference. Let's take a quick look around.
Computer: If we must.
4)
Spaceship lands by a huge, ancient, dilapidated Romanesque temple.
Page 2
1)
Skizz exits his ship.
2)
Skizz finds a plaque with indistinguishable alien characters written on it.
3)
Skizz runs his hand across the tablet, translating it as he does so.
Skizz: Temple.... of.... Glycon.
Link: Interesting.
4)
Skizz enters the temple.
5)
It's dark.
Skizz: Hello... hello.... anyone there?
Page 3
1)
A huge serpent bears above Skizz.
Serpent: artisticintegretiyartisticintegrityartisitic integrity.
2)
The serpent's move his face right up to Skizz's mask.
Serpent: artisticintegrityartisticintegrityartisticintegerity
Skizz: I am sorry, but what do you mean by “artistic integrity”?
3)
Serpent: Exactly my point!
4)
The serpent slithers off.
5)
Skizz looks confused.
Skizz: What a strange being.
Page 4
1)
Skizz goes back into to his ship.
2)
Computer: We're late now, Interpreter Zhcchz.
Skizz: Increase speed ten percent over safe limits.
3)
Computer: That's unsafe. Obviously. Denied.
Skizz: Overrule, it will be fine just this once!
4)
Computer: Tsk. If you insist. Brace yourself.
5)
Skizz's ship speeds away from the planet.
Caption: Ha, bad decision, Skizz!
Caption: Now Go and Buy the Skizz trade to see what happens next! The script is by Alan “Watchmen” Moore, who also wrote Watchmen. Did we mention that?
