Before Skizz

Incensed by Before Watchmen, I considered penning a parody featuring Alan Moore's 2000AD creation, Skizz. I had two serious goes at writing this, the first an out-and-out comedy, followed by a second version, much more akin to a pastiche, after I started to get interested in what a Skizz prequel might really be like. In the end I set aside the idea, and now it's so profoundly untopical as to be unlikely ever to see the light of day.

However, I don't think I have blogged one of my page breakdowns for a while, so here for your amusement is a panel by panel plan of the earlier, "funnier" Before Skizz...

Page 1

1)

Caption: Skizz was co-created by Alan Moore of Watchmen fame! Yes! So you are actually reading a brand new, Moore-quality comic right now!*

Caption: *Legal note: Alan Moore does not endorse this statement.

Skizz's spaceship approaches a small planet.

2)

Skizz in his cockpit.

Skizz: That planet looks interesting, computer.

Computer: Unfortunately, if we stop here you will be late for the Formalhaut Ore Discussions.

3)

Skizz: Ten clicks won't make any difference. Let's take a quick look around.

Computer: If we must.

4)

Spaceship lands by a huge, ancient, dilapidated Romanesque temple.

Page 2

1)

Skizz exits his ship.

2)

Skizz finds a plaque with indistinguishable alien characters written on it.

3)

Skizz runs his hand across the tablet, translating it as he does so.

Skizz: Temple.... of.... Glycon.

Link: Interesting.

4)

Skizz enters the temple.

5)

It's dark.

Skizz: Hello... hello.... anyone there?

Page 3

1)

A huge serpent bears above Skizz.

Serpent: artisticintegretiyartisticintegrityartisitic integrity.

2)

The serpent's move his face right up to Skizz's mask.

Serpent: artisticintegrityartisticintegrityartisticintegerity

Skizz: I am sorry, but what do you mean by “artistic integrity”?

3)

Serpent: Exactly my point!

4)

The serpent slithers off.

5)

Skizz looks confused.

Skizz: What a strange being.

Page 4

1)

Skizz goes back into to his ship.

2)

Computer: We're late now, Interpreter Zhcchz.

Skizz: Increase speed ten percent over safe limits.

3)

Computer: That's unsafe. Obviously. Denied.

Skizz: Overrule, it will be fine just this once!

4)

Computer: Tsk. If you insist. Brace yourself.

5)

Skizz's ship speeds away from the planet.

Caption: Ha, bad decision, Skizz!

Caption: Now Go and Buy the Skizz trade to see what happens next! The script is by Alan “Watchmen” Moore, who also wrote Watchmen. Did we mention that?