Sunday 18 January 2009

What Next for The Animal Hatmaker?

As work on Massacre For Boys in Colour nears completion, I notice that we have a 1-page Jimmy Baker script that won't be included for want of an available artist. As our future plans mean if it misses this comic it won't appear for years, I very much fear this story will remain an orphan.

Shame as I reckon it's not bad at all:


JIMMY BAKER ANIMAL HATMAKER: Bones
A US Format colour 1-pager by Chris Denton


1) A distinguished looking, scholarly gentleman, CURATOR JONES, stares disconsolate at an open and empty till. He is sitting at a box office window, which we can see because the word “Box Office” is visible, reversed in the glass.

CAPTION: NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON, 1952.

JONES: NO VISITORS, AGAIN! I NEED TO DO SOMETHING FAST OR WE’RE GOING BANKRUPT.

2) Detail of Curator Jones’ finger skimming down to the “Animal Hatmakers” section of the Yellow Pages. Just above this is a small advert for “Lady Vanessa, Animal Hairdresser.” The only animal hatmaker in the book is Jimmy Baker, and he has a large ad, which also doubles rather cunningly for the logo. The story title and credits can probably fit around here too.

3) Medium shot of Curator Jones gesticulating wildly, with JIMMY BAKER looking on. Behind them are a very grand set of double doors.

JONES: SO YOU SEE, MR BAKER. WE SIMPLY DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF HATS THE DINOSAURS WORE!

LINK: OF COURSE, PEOPLE AREN’T INTERESTED IN ANIMALS WITH BARE HEADS SO IT LOOKS LIKE THE MUSEUM IS FINISHED!

4) Close on Jimmy, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. Behind him we can see part of the tail of a brontosaurus skeleton.

JIMMY: NOT NECESSARILY, PROFESSOR. I HAVE ONE OR TWO IDEAS…

5) Close on a newspaper-style billboard. It proclaims “T. REX – PREHISTORIC HIGHWAYMAN” and pasted over the bottom right hand corner of this is in slightly smaller text is the phrase “SOLD OUT”.

CAPTION: A MONTH LATER…

6) Close on the skull of a Tyrannosaurus Rex. It is wearing a Dick Turpin-style Tricorn hat.

T. REX (DISTORT): STAND AND DELIV – RAAARGH!

CAPTION: JIMMY BAKER COMES UP TRUMPS AGAIN!


Any artist out there fancy doing a quick job on this?

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