The Squeam plan
League of Planets HQ.
Caption: We cannot imagine it now, but there was a time before our own Great Galactic Peace.
Statue of Tudor J Gates, saluting, chest puffed out, in full dress uniform and with lots of medals.
Caption: The League’s Peacekeepers brought this wondrous contentment to all the known peoples, and the greatest peacekeeper of them all was Tudor J Gates.
Close on the statue’s proud face.
An establishing shot of a battle-scarred planet.
Caption: Posted with the “Bluehats” to the hellworld of Karnsmite, unwilling conscript Private Gates’ greatness was far from apparent.
Tudor is no patrol in a thorny forest with Corporal Elder.
Caption: “In a time when all medical treatments were non-invasive and Health and Safety perfection had been achieved, the sight of blood or gore was rare indeed.”
Elder: “Try not to get in the way, Gates!”
Elder scratches himself on a thorn, Gates’ is appalled.
Caption: “Some conscripts were unable to cope with even the faintest hint of bodily life-fluid. This made them worthless in battle and there were strict rules ensuring that no platoon had more than one such soldier.”
Tudor is sick into his helmet.
Caption: “They were supposed to be known as the Peacekeeping Community Support Operative (PCSO) but were most usually called…
The Emperor of the Pyrotines vidcalls to say the peacekeepers must leave or die.
Major Fine-Style, the leader of the bluehats, offers to go back to the negotiating table.
The Emperor replies we will negotiate with your next of kin. They will offer us more favourable terms once they receive your ground up entrails in a shoebox.
Major Fine-Style is looking forward to some proper action at last. He demands sharper spikes and deeper ramparts because The Pyrotine GeneGiants are twelve-feet tall with hides like tarmac.
Panels 4 and 5
Tudor is taking around a tray of tea when the GeneGiants strike.
Panels 6 and 7
They storm the walls and one grabs hold of Elder and bares his giant teeth.
Tudor jumps on the giant’s back and stabs him with al Laz-knife.
Crying out in pain, the Giant slashes at Tudor’s face.
Elder takes the opportunity to give the giant both barrels of a Laz-shotgun.
Elder thanks Tudor. “You’re alright, kid.”
Tudor smiles happily. Then looks at his hands, which are covered in his own blood.
Tudor wakes from his coma. He is alone.
Tudor sits up.
Tudor: “Hello? Hello? Anyone there?”
He wanders down a dark deserted corridor.
In the main hall he sees that the platoon have been ripped apart and left to rot, some weeks ago.
Close on Tudor’s horrified face.
Tudor vidcalls league of Planet’s HQ. As the only survivor they make him ambassador.
The Emperor of the Pyrotines is now prepared to negotiate.
Panels 2 & 3
The Snearing Emperor arrives with body guards. Tudor kills them all.
When the new Emperor arrives, Tudor is bathing in the blood of his predecessor a tap has been fitted to his corpse, which hangs suspended over the bath.
New Emperor: “uh, yes, we would be happy to accepyt your terms, oh great one.”
Back to the League of Planets HQ.
Caption “And having established that peace can only be one by acts of horrific blood-thirsty violence, Tudor went on to bring “peace” to galaxy.””
We can see the statue of Tudor again, but this time we can also read the plaque beneath it. It says
Marshall Tudor J Gates.
“Must Kill More Babies”